Malaysia Trek
Thu 6th. My best mate Neil sacrifices his lie-in to shuttle us to heathrow. No traffic problems, short check-in, breakfast & duty-free shopping. Flight uneventful and had crappy films (see return flight). 2 hours at Kuala Lumpur airport, the one where the national & international terminals are linked by a monorail. Nothing to do so Amanda eats a chocolate Durian and immediately regrets it. Spent so long gassing in the departure lounge that we nearly miss the onward flight to Kota Kinabalu.
Fri 7th. Arrive at KK and are greeted by Tham who introduces our guide (Asa) as a champion cyclist - we start to worry. Tham drives us for about 40 mins to our first stopover hotel the Seaside Travellers Inn. We have to pass the nesting swiftlets to get to our room where we promptly shower & change and go in search of a beer. Sit outside restaurant on verandah looking out to sea and survivor island. Potter about for a bit rearranging the suitcase for tomorrow then had some dinner (Lemon chicken & fried rice, Amanda had a fish thing). Went to bed and slept all night.
Sat 8th. Asa & Well turn up with the van and the bikes. Asa is wearing his full 'Tour de France'
Lycra which makes us even more nervous. We drive for about half an hour to the roadside shop where we buy fruit
and the bikes are assembled. After riding round the car park to get used to the gears and make a few adjustments
like saddle height we set off for the Proboscis lodge.
As promised, the cycling is easy - flat, tarmac roads and it isn't long before I feel like getting off the road
and onto the beaten track. Prayers answered as we have to push our bikes across a rickety suspension bridge.
Some excitement as we have to negotiate traffic jams because it's election day and everyone is at the voting
station. Pull up at the seaside for a rest and a bit of jackfruit. Off again then second exit off the turtle
roundabout. The sun is hot but it hasn't dried up the rain from last night (evidence of splat up back of t-shirt)
it's even hotter if you stop pedalling.
Arrive at the lodge, straight into (A/C) room for shower and a bit of a lie down before going for afternoon tea and home made doughnuts. At 5:00pm board boat for afternoon river cruise. The river looks like chocolate - I have no idea if this is due to the heavy rain or it's always that colour. As we meander down the river we find lots of families of monkeys - Proboscis (obviously) ,long-tailed Macaques and even a few Silver Leafs. Above there are sea eagles, parrots, kingfishers and herons, the sky is overcast but the rain holds off. Return from cruise, change into long trousers and go to dinner (amazing buffet which includes river crab - this sounds a lot more exciting than it tastes). After dinner it's back out on the boat for the nighttime cruise to see the fireflies. Our boat has about 8 Korean tourists and we learn the korean for 'christmas tree' it's 'clistmas tlee'. Back to the jetty for a beer and a spot of fishing. Amanda has a few nibbles - danmed clever these fish, they seem to be able to be able to nibble the bait (squid) without getting hooked. Run out of bait so give up and go to bed. Don't sleep too well mainly because of the constant gnawing of the wood beetles (Monster beetles that have holes about 20mm across). Just as we tune out the nighttime sounds of the jungle and drop off the cockerels start crowing. Top
Sun 9th. Get up looking like death, grab a quick coffee before early morning cruise. This time we are joined
by a grumpy german couple (easily recognised from 100 paces) who barely speak to us. They jinx the cruise by wearing
far too many clothes and smothering their exposed bits with evil smelling sun cream. As an attempt at Anglo-German
relations I try to strike up a conversation and lend them my binoculars - response was a grunt. Sun coming up and
I'm getting hungry so back to the lodge for breakfast (fried eggs & frankfurters for me, peanut butter and jelly
pancakes for Amanda) We were planning to have toast but toaster bursts into flames at Amandas touch (well, billowing
smoke anyhow). Sitting outside our room we see Sunbirds, Yellow & brown (like banana quits in Dominica) and
crimson ones. Also small squirrels, coulourful starlings, Parrots with red bills and warblers. there is a large green
bug walking about in our rafters (I think it has a leg missing). In the distance we hear the unmistakable Bob Marley
blaring out - in direct competition with the TV documentary about the Proboscis monkey narrated by Stephen Fry.
It is our free day so we go for a bike ride. Into town past the wealthy (Brunei) area then out down a dirt track that
runs past the stilted wooden shacks where children wave and shout - Asa says they are saying 'oooh, look at the white
people'. Take photo of tree used to thatch rooves then back along the track discussing land prices. When we get back
to the road we see the germans and are amazed to see they've taken off their raincoats (it must be 33 degrees in the
shade). Freshen up and have lunch (off fake banana leaf plates). Had a bit of a siesta then took some photos of the
resort. Had afternoon tea again and tried some green jelly covered beans dipped in coconut - I need at least 4
doughnuts to take the taste away. For the 5:00 pm cruise we are joined by some Koreans (almost as big a jinx as the
germans in terms of finding wildlife but much more fun, friendly & entertaining) with much mutual photo taking,
especially at sundown.
Get a few insect bites - gnats and the odd mosquito but
nothing major. Dinner (buffet), firefly cruise with Koreans, beer & bed (still not sleeping properly).
Top
Mon 10th. Have birthday breakfast with cards before setting off (by bike) to
Tempurung Lodge. From the road I see a
monkey up an electricity pylon and we stop at the 'Cake Delight' shop for cake and weird tea with sugar and e-number
coated prunes. Have to decide whether to see Survivor island or take the short-cut. Take the short-cut and disturb a
monitor lizard. Turn off the main road to dirt track - every now and then we get a glimpse of the turquoise sea
through the trees. It pongs a bit as we pass the wallowing water buffalo and the drying anchovies but continue to
the breakwater where Asa chases down another monitor lizard. There's a new road being constructed here and by this
time Amanda is regretting not packing a sports bra. Reach Tempurung. Can't wait to jump in the sea so dump our gear
in the room, change and rush out to our deserted beach - all 3km of it. Revert to childhood and spend an hour splashing
about in the surf and trying to prevent being washed to the next village by the strong current.
Well it is my
birthday. Shower off the salt and have a bit of a nap while the boys wash the bikes by hanging them from a tree and
hosing them down. After nap we take our rum and mefloquine to dinner. We secure 2 glasses with ice, some sugar and
some tiny limes (we have to prevent the waiter from going overboard with the lime presentation) and Amanda (in her
inimitable style) rustles up 2 mojitos. Play pool (badly) Try to get Well (he's our driver remember) drunk but he
still beats us. Our table is specially decorated and we get a free glass of wine with our dinner (well I say wine,
I think it was a well chilled port). After dinner played more pool, this time with mancunian girl (Louise) and her
Austrian companion (Stefan) Still lost. Watched a bit of the moto GP then toddled back to our room - Buzzed by low
flying praying mantis. [sometime I tried the 3-in-one coffee sachet - coffee, sweetener and whitener in one
bag - wish I hadn't] The Canadian couple admire our drinks technique (bring you own) and the only other couple are
local malaysians (she was wearing some very tight floral capri pants). Go to bed.
Top
Tue 11th. Day off. Asa drives us back to town (the one with the 'Cake Delight' tea shop) to see the market.
Across the unstable (think early millenium) bridge thick with people. We mooch around the clothing, hardware and
toiletries but don't buy anything, then on to the food hall. Amanda is tempted by the freshly made pancakes with
pistachio & sugar, right up until the woman adds a spoonfull of creamed sweetcorn.
A policeman corners
me between the dried fish and weird vegetable counters but I speak gibberish and he loses interest. Back over the
bridge to the fish market where we see nice Tuna, Snapper and Squid but are horrified to find small sharks for sale. Had
a quick look around town then back to the lodge to strip off and jump back into the sea (Woo Hoo). Take raffia mats
and lay down by some driftwood but ants found us so we moved. On the shoreline small molluscs leave trails that look
like maps (one uncannily like Australia) and tiny long-armed crabs dig themselves backwards into the sand. At 5:30
it looks like it may be spoiling for a sunset - unfortunately this is the cue for the sandflies to appear and as we
wait for the best picture we get severely bitten (well Amanda gets bitten, I seem to escape pretty lightly). Beat
hasty retreat to the bar for a beer before dinner. That night I sleep well right up until the cockroach scurried
over my face and into my hair - sit bolt upright and like some crazed head-banging rock star try to dislodge it. Not
impressed - more about that tomorrow.
Top
Wed 12th. White water rafting. The rains have made our first choice river unnavigable (and with it the chance to ride on the train) so we leave the tranquil Tempurung lodge and head back to the Seaside Inn to retrieve our dive gear then on to KK where another minibus awaits. This one has 3 grumpy germans in it which doesn't bode well. After about an hour and a half we reach the river and after changing into our wet weather gear and a short boat briefing we are away; well I say away, what with the germans not paddling and the rapids not as rapid as we'd like it was all a bit tame. Halfway through we get out for a swim (think surface drift dive), I bash my knee on a rock. No snakes, no crocodiles, only 1 dead shrimp. Over lunch I can't help thinking that again the jerries have put a dampener on our fun. I'm very quiet on the bus back to KK. Asa & Well drive us to our hotel and we bid them farewell. The Berjaya Palace Hotel probably used to be a nice hotel but was looking a bit tired. The 3rd floor carpets were being cleaned so we were pleasantly surprised to find our room was rather nice. White with black leather armchairs and bedhead - all clean and minimalist - even had a huge LCD TV on the wall. As we open the case the dammned cockroach hopped out (yesterdays Axel Rose impression had flicked it into the suitcase). After a good (hot) shower we washed some smalls and headed off to the bar. We were the only ones there and asked for their special cocktail - this was a bit tame (sweet) for us so to take away the taste we asked for a stiff gin martini. Even though this was on the list the barman couldn't find the recipie so we told him what to do and he obliged, he even came up with some peanuts (although we had to pick out the dried fish bits). Dinner, then bed but not before turning on the TV to see a bit of the US election and oil price crisis then fell asleep to a Japanese film with Malasian sub-titles - wow, do we know how to live or what. Top
Thur 13th. After breakfast (where we had to elbow our way through the Korean delegation) we alight the
minibus. Today we have a new driver/guide combo (Chris & Gerry or Garry or something - could have been Geoff)
to take us 3 hours north to the very tip of Borneo. The drive wasn't very interesting, only the Palm oil
plantations, Mount Kinabalu, rice paddy fields and some Acacia plantations to see (think there was a deer farm
too), oh and brightly coloured Bee-eaters line the telegraph wires. After about an hour we stop at a fuel station
for a comfort break and to buy rather good cheese crackers to nibble on. We reach the tip at about 11:30 and it's
very hot, pose for photos and gaze out to where the south china sea meets the Sulu sea - apart from the frigate
birds it isn't that interesting. After a spot of lunch and a walk on the (deserted)
beach 
we head off
the the Rungus longhouse - a kind of living museum of how the natives used to live (on the way a snake slithers
across the road). Chris shows us a rubber tree and we play with the latex sap. The Janitor's wife gives us our
complimentary bead necklaces and points to the rooms we are allowed to enter. The longhouse is quite cool but I
can't imagine what it would be like with 8 or 12 families living there. Chris reminds us that the tribes living
here used to collect human heads to prove how manly (and therefore how suitable for marriage) they were. Outside,
Amanda does some bead shopping (pressie for cat-feeding sister) while I stop in the road to play with some
chicks (small chickens dummy). On our way to the apiaries, Chris stops to show how rice grows - Amanda steps in
bog. Honey farm is run by a co-operative of local people. Baby is removed from teat long enough for mum to show
us the hives. Amanda is allergic to bee & wasp stings so hides behind me as smoke is pumped in and the bees
pump out. Mum extracts a honeycomb and cuts out a section, chops it up and distributes it. My eyes roll back in
my head as the intense flavour of body temperature honey trickles over my taste buds - it's delightful. The dark,
more unsavoury looking wax is even tastier even if I am spitting bits out half an hour later. The clouds thicken
as we approach KK and it rains as we stop for barbecued sweet corn (and a small pack of peanuts for later). Chris
stops at a chinese pharmacy so we can get some Tiger balm - for Amanda's sandfly bites and some eucalyptus paste - for
my heat rash, then back to the hotel in time for a martini, Dinner & bed.
Top
Fri 14th. That's about it for our Sabah trek except we are happy that we get Asa back for our transfer to the airport. He said it was his pleasure to be our guide as we were interested in everything and didn't complain (apparently we aren't normal). We have a short flight to Kota Baru where a taxi is waiting to whisk us off to the Renaissance hotel. We have a quick shuftie round the place then venture out to she shopping mall next door. This is 6 storeys of tat linked by escalators (which the locals are frightened to step onto). Back at the hotel we freshen up and find the cocktail lounge. Here we have a drink and write the diary, then to dinner - Amanda unimpressed with her fish jerkey starter but the mains are better. Top
Sat 15th. Renaissance plumbing can't cope with my (admittedly generous) deposit so sheepishly check out. Taxi arrives to take us to the ferry at Kuala Besut, it takes us about an hour and a quarter through the tobacco plantations and smokehouses. Occasionally see children's kites flying high above us. Meet grumpy guy at the ferry terminal where we pay our marine park fee and board the ferry (later than we'd arranged). The sea is rather choppy and one of our party seems to fear for her life and asks the captain to slow down (he ignores her and we crash on). It takes the best part of an hour to reach Perhentian Kechil where we transfer to a smaller boat to get us through the shallows to the Impiani resort. We dump our luggage in our room and nip back down to see if we can catch the afternoon dive. Since the Watercolours dive centre is on the other island a boat is rustled up to take us; here begins our week of diving. Top
The journey back starts with the return ferry ride - not as bone crunching but wetter. During the taxi to Kota Baru airport I contemplate my ear infection. Air-con on full blast so change into long sleeves over coffee and a bun. Another 2 hours to kill at KL so have lunch (I think) a bowl of hot noodle soup - I get hiccups. KL-LHR awful - surrounded by kids. They rushed dinner, we nearly missed out on our G&T's, had to eat our own nibbles, meal was unappetising and we only ate half, One cold cup of coffee. Only redeeming feature is the kids were quiet & the person in front of me never reclined their seat. We'll try to avoid Air Malaysia in future - It reminded me of the awful Garuda service. Flight had same movies as outbound but Amanda found a sweet Korean/Japanese film called Le Grand Chef about the royal chef and a prestigious knife). Probably slept for 4 of the 12 hours. Met at Heathrow by Neil and snow (brrrr). It's easter Sunday, it's 6:00 am and there's no traffic on the M4. Top